A Practical Guide to Racism

Book excerpt: "Read it with someone you hate." —Jon Stewart A hilarious look at the races of the world—capturing the proud history and bright future of racism in one handy, authoritative, and deeply offensive volume. Whether you’re laughing, cringing, or some combination of the two, A Practical Guide to Racism is sure to entertain. According to C. H. Dalton, a professor of racialist studies and an expert on inferior people of all ethnicities, genders, religions, and sexual preferences, everyone should be hated. A Practical Guide to Racism takes a satirical look at long-standing stereotypes and draws them out to their mad and illogical conclusions. At its core, this deeply sarcastic body of evidence suggests that, by the standards of racism, every race is terrible in its own right. A Practical Guide to Racism contains sparkling bits of wisdom on such subjects as: · The good life enjoyed by blacks, who shuffle through life unhindered by the white man's burdens, to become accomplished athletes, rhyme smiths, and dominoes champions · A close look at the bizarre, sweet-smelling race known as women, who are not very good at anything - especially ruling the free world · The sad story of the industrious, intelligent Jews, whose entire reputation is sullied by their taste for the blood of Christian babies · A crucial manual to Arabs, a people so sensitive they are liable to blow up at any time. Literally.