Growing Whole

Book excerpt: This book is the story of one woman’s spiritual awakening. I was born into a Christian household, so I have always known “about” God, and for many of my early years I thought that was enough. I participated in the rituals common to my faith, and I engaged in activities of daily living much like other humans. I identified my life goals, and I diligently implemented the strategies to achieve them. I was taught that education and hard work were the tickets to happiness, so that is the direction I traveled. I became a wife and mother, and both roles brought joy into my life in ways I could not have imagined. At some point during my middle years, though, it became clear that something important was missing. What started out as a faint feeling of emptiness grew into a keen awareness that the calling on my life included more than working long hours in one stressful job after another. There was a loneliness deep inside that I could not explain. By secular standards, I should have been happy and content. I was ashamed to admit my feelings of uneasiness to anyone because, in accordance with worldly norms, I was living a dream life. So, I kept quiet and went about my days as expected, all the while, I was hoping the disturbance in my spirit would subside. But it did not. Over time, I became more and more uncomfortable with the lifestyle I had settled into. I prayed for divine guidance, and, after much self-examination and soul searching, I got the clarity I needed. I came to the realization that knowing “about” God and “knowing” God are not the same. It was no longer enough for me to have a relationship with Him based on rituals. I needed a more intimate friendship. With this recognition, I set out on a lifelong spiritual journey of growing whole.