Psych's Guide to Crime Fighting for the Totally Unqualified

Book excerpt: GOT A MYSTERY TO SOLVE? DON'T GET STUMPED. GET PSYCHED! You've seen him solve unsolvable crimes, stop unstoppable killers, and consume unconsumable breakfast cereals. Now Shawn Spencer, the mastermind from TV's hit show Psych, shows you how to become a fake psychic-and a real detective-using his patented methods of crime-fighting awesomeness. Along the way, he'll help you deal with whiny sidekicks (that means you, Gus), interfering police officers (including but not limited to Chief Vick, Lassiter, Henry, Buzz MacNab, and, ah, Juliet), and flashes of genius (like Evel Knievel's white leather jumpsuit). You'll discover: How to set up a totally bitchin' office, where Wednesday = Ladies Night How to convince your sidekick that he's really your partner How to pick up women at a crime scene Shawn's Stakeout Survival Guide, including sensible snacks Gus's Scream-and-Run Method for confronting criminals Unsolved mysteries like who stole Shawn's Sno-Caps in third grade The ideal sleuth car: Magnum, P.I.'s Ferrari or Knight Rider's K.I.T.T.? Who should play Shawn in the movie of his life: Christian Bale or Don Cheadle? New names for detectives, such as Rico Solvé and Sherlock Homeboy . . . and way more cool stuff. Packed with insane pop quizzes, unbelievable case studies, unflattering photos, and off-the-chart charts, this all-in-one guide will have you solving crimes and catching crooks like a pro-even if you don't have a clue.