Classic and current sexual positions Spice up your relationship with favorite sexual positions in wild and erotic ways

Book excerpt: INTRODUCTION BEING EXCITED AND AROUSED FOR SEX is a wonderful feeling. For the most part, we could say this is half the battle—a requirement, even—but unfortunately, simply wanting sex is not always the be-all and end-all to having great sex. Sometimes, finding creative and fun ways to do it can be a challenge. Sex, like all things, can become monotonous, boring, or lackluster if done often enough in the same way. While not all people get tired of sex, even when they do it a lot, it can be nice to learn a new thing or two. With time our bodies change, and with experience so do our minds. Expanding our sexual repertoire can teach us not only about our partners but also about ourselves. A book on classic sex positions and their variations is not just for those seeking new variety, adventure, and possibilities. This is also a great guide for beginners who don’t know where to start, and for those who are curious about learning about sex and their bodies. But you don’t have to be a beginner or seeking excitement. There is something for everyone in these pages. Some important things to keep in mind as you explore these varieties of sex positions: ° Not every position is going to be great for everyone. Although there is probably a little something for every sexual being within these pages, it is important to remember that everybody is different. Some poses are harder for certain body types. Some poses will stimulate some and won’t do anything for others. If something doesn’t seem like it is working for you, don’t sweat it. Come back to it at a later time, or move on. ° Most sexual poses are easier if you feel comfortable in your environment and are relaxed. It is a little-known fact that when your muscles are relaxed your body is more open and flexible. Feeling safe with your partner helps and, of course, so does being aroused. And the two typically go hand-in-hand. ° Communicate with your partner. This may seem obvious, but it’s surprising how much we tend to hold back during sex. Don’t hesitate to get the conversation going around sex. Be generous with your words. Ask your partner how it feels, and let him or her know what is working for you and what isn’t. Telling your partner ahead of time what you like, dislike, are willing to do, and would like to explore are great ways to break the ice around sex and start building a sexual repertoire together. Communication can also be in the form of body language or moans and groans, which nonverbally suggest that something feels good. Be sure to pay attention to these. Last but not least, dirty talk is also a form of communication, especially when used during sex, and can take each variation to the next level. ° Remember that sex is not only about penetration. Learn to incorporate your hands, fingers, and mouth—not just your genitals. When we go into sex with just the genitals in mind, we inevitably ignore other aspects of feeling and touch. By making sex a full-body experience, we foster mind-body connection. The anus, perineum, testicles, breasts, and nipples (for both men and women) are all highly erogenous zones. Don’t ignore these areas! ° Sex does not have to be goal-oriented. The positions in this book focus on man-woman positions, so each variation involves an aspect of intercourse. This does not mean that intercourse must take place for the pose to be successful, nor does it mean that orgasm is a requirement either. Attempting the pose alone can provide a lot of fun and excitement. Remember to enjoy the experience and not focus on the goal of orgasm. ° Speaking of orgasm, considering the fact that most of the poses include an element of penis-vaginal penetration, it is important to note that vaginal orgasms are not the norm for a majority of women. While some women do experience the G-spot orgasm, this is not going to be true for every woman. The G-spot is located inside the vagina, on the anterior wall. More common is the clitoral orgasm. The clitoris is found outside of the vagina, near the front of her labia and above the urethra. The vagina does have some sensitive spots, such as the G-spot; however, in terms of nerve endings, relatively speaking, the clitoris is much more sensitive. ° Consider adding sex toys to your sexual repertoire. Including toys allows us to think outside of the box and encourages a healthy sexuality that emphasizes growth and learning. When we add toys, we also remind ourselves that sex is about having fun and experimenting with what feels good. ° I can’t speak highly enough about lubrication. Whether or not we are naturally lubricated is not necessarily an indication of whether or not we are emotionally aroused. The two are not mutually exclusive. If both partners agree this is something they want, then lube is your best friend. Having a few good types of lube on hand is a good idea. Water-based lubes are best if using condoms. Organic lubes will have the least irritants. Silicone-based lubes will be the slickest, but may not be great when used with silicone toys. Avoid lubes with parabens and glycerin because they can cause irritation. There are a lot of lubes out there, so experiment to find what works for you and your partner. ° Condoms are always a good idea, unless you are in a long-term monogamous relationship, and/or both parties are sharing sexually transmitted disease (STD) sexually transmitted infection (STI) results. ° Another option for safe sex is mutual masturbation. Whether you are touching yourself and/or touching each other, if no fluids are exchanged you are less likely to contract an STI or HIV. Also, mutual masturbation can be a highly erotic experience, connecting two people in a very intimate way. So, definitely don’t count this out. Sex has endless possibilities when you open your mind and let your imagination run wild. So get out there, start exploring, and start growing and learning. Whether you are seeking daring adventures or just trying to learn something new, remember to be safe and have fun!