Sashay to the Centre of the Earth

Book excerpt: The third hilarious instalment of the anarchic Battlestar Suburbia series The only thing harder to win than a war is the peace that follows it... Six months after the end of hostilities that pitted man against robot, both machines and humans are still struggling to work out how they’ll share custody of the solar system. Down on Earth, prime minister Fuji Itsu should really be dealing with that - and the planet’s crumbling concrete crust – but now she’s fallen through it and her chief-of-staff has lost her backup disk. Up in space, acting first minister Janice has only one hope of protecting the eight million people on the Battlestar Suburbia. That means sending an ultra-secret mission made up of two ill-matched beauticians to infiltrate an interplanetary smuggling ring. Somewhere in between, a smartphone with an agenda that not even he understands is supposed to bring these two sides together. Both robots and humans learn that the answers to – and possibly the causes of – all their problems lie not in space but under their feet. It’s time for toasters and fleshies alike to Sashay to the Centre of the Earth. What readers are saying: “I loved this book. I legit laughed through the entire novel and I am excited that there will be a sequel.” Terra C “A brilliant mix of sci-fi, humor, and those hundreds of little things that make a memorable story. McCrudden is destined to become synonymous with great sci-fi humor.” Christopher H “A deliciously hilarious romp which skirts the realms of credibility but provides a wild ride which kept me very much entertained throughout. It's bonkers, it's mad and .... so exaggerated to almost be genius in its execution.” Kath B “Featuring a kindly bread-maker, ancient nana-cyborgs, a moving hairdressers and a chance to avert a nuclear bomb, it's both great fun and very clever.” Ruth M “Battlestar Suburbia highlights the absurdity of life, and the adaptability of individuals in unusual situations. McCrudden’s novel will appeal to fans of Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett, or anyone looking for an escape only loosely connected to reality.” Stephenie S “This was a trip! Some great one-lines & puns help create this future world where the machines have taken over. With evil smartphones, anti-hero humans, & a motherly bread maker pushed to the edge...” Caroline F Editorial reviews: “Chris McCrudden has created a new division of SF: Science Flotsam. His sprawling space epic is what you get if you cross Dr Who with an unhealthy fascination for household appliances. Forget alien invasion; in this explosive future you won’t be able to trust your spin dryer.” Christopher Fowler “McCrudden’s debut is festooned with cunning punnery, sharp turns of phrase, and jokes about emojis and the internet, making this very much a comic novel of our times.” James Lovegrove, Financial Times “an amusing and mind-bending read... different, a little geeky, and lots of fun.” LoveReading “An extraordinary technical achievement that does for SF what Terry Pratchett did for fantasy.” David Quantick