The Flight from Intimacy

Book excerpt: Do you know someone who... Has trouble being close to others? Has a strong need to be right — all the time? Acts self-centered and egotistical? Never asks for help? Has to look good all the time? Works long hours but never finishes? Expects perfection in self and others? Seldom appears vulnerable or weak? Has difficulty relaxing? If so, this person may suffer from counter-dependency, the little-known flip side of co-dependency. The Flight from Intimacy, by psychologists Janae and Barry Weinhold, reveals counter-dependency as the major barrier to creating intimate relationships. People with counter-dependent behaviors appear strong, secure, and successful on the outside, while on the inside they feel weak, fearful, insecure, and needy. They function well in the world of business but often struggle in intimate relationships. Being in a relationship with this kind of person can be extremely frustrating. The Flight from Intimacy shows readers how to recognize and cope with counter-dependent people. And if you recognize yourself in the description above, this book will help you learn how to change. It teaches readers how to use committed relationships to heal childhood wounds and provides proven ways to use conflicts as opportunities for creating intimate, partnership relationships.