When the Past Is Present

Book excerpt: The popular author of How to Be an Adult in Relationships reveals how past trauma can negatively impact our present-day relationships—and offers guidance on what to do about it We all have a tendency to transfer potent feelings, needs, expectations, and beliefs from childhood or from former relationships onto the people in our daily lives, whether they are our intimate partners, friends, or acquaintances. When the Past Is Present helps us to become more aware of the ways we slip into the past so that we can identify our emotional baggage and take steps to unpack it and put it where it belongs. Drawing on decades of experience as a psychotherapist, Richo helps readers to: • Understand how the wounds of childhood become exposed in adult relationships—and why this is a gift • Identify and heal the emotional wounds we carry over from the past so that they won’t sabotage present-day relationships • Recognize how strong attractions and aversions to people in the present can be signals of our own unfinished business • Use mindfulness to stay in the present moment and cultivate authentic intimacy Full of practical guidance, When the Past is Present will teach you how to free yourself from old wounds and destructive behavioral partners so you can foster healthier, happier relationships.