Be FUNNY or DIE

Book excerpt: TO: The one reading this now wanting to be FUNNY, who is NOT, or is already, but wants to be MORE funny... Howdy! Hey you! Yeah...YOU! Why are you even here reading this wanting to be funny? Ah, let me guess... * Is it to impress the hot ladies or cute guys, hoping to get into her panties or his tidy-whities? * Is it to get along with your boss, colleagues, families, or whoever the heck is in your life? * Is it to make people like you and have more friends because you have nada? * Is it to advance your professional life to have all the fancy cars, big house, and shoes (ladies)? * Is it to have a freaking awesome social life to be Mr. or Ms. Congeniality? Now listen up for I got a funny bone to pick with you. Let me let you in on a little secret. Being funny is not a talent you are born with, in fact, anybody can be mad funny, even if they're not (especially if they're not). You know deep down, you know that already or else, why would you be interested in "learning" how to be funny. Still don't believe you can be damn funny? Fine, you left me no choice... Let's put it this way, what if somebody were to put a pistol to your head and said, "Be funny, or die!" You would force yourself to be ridiculously damn funny like you never thought possible! That's what "Be FUNNY or DIE" will do, make you ridiculously damn funny. Just have a look at how funny you can be: * How to spice up any of your interaction with "funny recipes" to be a comical conversationalist (talking muy caliente) to get people laughing their tails off? * How to be master of the witty one-liners, that you can pull out of thin air and have people impress by such talented creative-wit of yours (haha good one)? * How to be spontaneous always have the right things to say to generate a laugh, or get out of troublesome sticky situations ("uh-oh, oh-no" but fear not)? * How to create and tell your funny jokes the right way, so you always over deliver the goods and won't fall flat on your tooshie (ouch! that's gonna gotta hurt)? * How to craft and come up with your own hilarious stories to tell whenever and wherever you want, to get people falling for you (marry me please!)? * How to actually be funny rather than just saying something funny, and the different comical character archetypes that you can emulate to be funny (laughing with you, not at you)? * How to incorporate humor into your everyday life, and have a lifestyle always comprising of humor and good laughters (you're so funny)? ...and that's only just a tip on the bird's nest. There's many more goodies in stored for you on the other side. Well? What you waiting for? Do you want to be funny or not? Don't make me force you. Be funny, or die! The choice is yours.