Before You Tie the Knot

Book excerpt: Marriage is a natural developmental stage for most adults but the process of getting married and achieving a successful, long-lasting marriage can be fraught with challenges for Muslims in North America. The authors present a unique approach that reflects 40 years of combined experience in counseling couples. Mohamed Hag Magid is a prominent imam at one of the largest mosques in the US, and Salma Elkadi Abugideiri is a licensed mental health professional. The two provide an Islamic framework for the entire marriage process and present marriage as a partnership while underscoring the ingredients for successfully finding a spouse, as well as for establishing and maintaining a healthy marriage.This book is invaluable for anyone seeking marriage, as well as for parents who are involved in their children's marriage process. Those getting re-married after a divorce or death of a spouse will also find this book extremely useful. The authors raise thought-provoking questions to help readers increase self-awareness, clarify what is desired in a spouse and in a marriage, and help them get to know a potential spouse. Topics addressed in detail include finding a spouse, the role of family and in-laws, the marriage contract and wedding, intimacy, spirituality and finances. Special issues addressed include mental health, domestic violence and threats to a marriage. This marriage guide is surprisingly comprehensive and practical. It provides a tool kit with concrete skills that can be used throughout a marriage to ensure a healthy relationship that is grounded in the Islamic values of love and mercy-qualities that are necessary to achieve the ultimate purpose of marriage: mutual tranquility. This book promises to be a valuable resource that couples will turn to for many years both as a refresher and as a reference.