Born Only Once, Third Edition

Book excerpt: This timeless classic, Born Only Once, describes the emotional turmoil of many persons and offers hope for healing through the author's compassionate understanding of their deepest wounds. Psychiatrist Conrad Baars discusses this inner unrest in terms of the fundamental human need for unconditional love, or affirmation. When children have been denied the gift of themselves through affirmation to a greater or lesser degree, they continue to look for this unconditional love, and later as adults suffer from deep feelings of inferiority, inadequacy, uncertainty, and insecurity, as well as having difficulty relating to others. Baars describes how authentic affirmation strengthens a person to feel secure and happy in himself, able to confront the world and to relate to others with confidence. Affirmation is what unaffirmed persons and those with Emotional Deprivation Disorder need to feel at peace, strong, and secure in their own identity. Baars lists many things that unaffirmed persons can do to help themselves, but it is hoped that the reader will be moved to lead an authentically affirming life by being open to the goodness of persons, things, nature, ideas, etc. This simple way of being, of openness to being moved, can bring peace and resolve difficulties.