Learn to Love Yourself Enough

Book excerpt: Create a wealth of self-worth. In a black-and-white world, there are two types of people—those who love themselves too much (and walk over everybody else) or hate themselves for failing to achieve goals (and probably end up being taken advantage of by others). But, according to British marital therapist, Andrew G. Marshall, neither has a healthy perception of oneself. This is because the secret to self-esteem does not lie in the extremes of love and hate, but in the middle, in the gray area that teaches us to love ourselves just enough: enough to have love to offer others; enough to be open to receive love from others. Only when this kind of balance is created, can self-love exist. Like no other book on self-esteem ever written, Learn to Love Yourself Enough helps readers walk through life on middle ground by revealing the seven factors that, together, add up to a wealth of self-worth. Examine your relationship with your parents: Discover the six types of child-parent relationships and how to accept the legacy of your past. Find Forgiveness: Debunk the two myths about forgiveness and discover what can be gained from negative experiences. Don't let other people put you down: Recognize the five phases of projection and how understanding our own projections lead to better and happy relationships. Re-program your inner voice: Identify the three kinds of negative thinking that work together to undermine self-confidence and whether they are based on fact or just opinion. Set realistic goals: Learn how perfectionism undermines self-esteem. Re-balance yourself: Understand that problems lurk in the extremes and why the middle way is the most successful way. Conquer Fears and Setbacks: Overcome the day-to-day problems that life and other people throw at us.