On My Knees

Book excerpt: A brash, bawdy, and downright ballsy ode to the ups and downs of life and love, On My Knees opens with Periel Aschenbrand - still reeling from a breakup with her long - time boyfriend - chain - smoking her days away on a plastic - covered couch and watching reruns of Law and Order while she squats in her dead grandmother's apartment in the East Village. Armed with her wicked wit and a motley cast of characters that includes her hovering Jewish mother, an eccentric uncle, and her neurotic best friend/wingwoman, Aschenbrand embarks on a Dante - esque journey through the many rings of single - girl hell involving crazy one - night stands; an unhealthy attachment to a dental hygienist; a run - in with Philip Roth; and, in the end, a trip to Israel and an encounter with the man who just might be the one. Hysterical and heartfelt, On My Knees traces Periel's attempt to rebuild her life, her relationships, and her trademark confidence in a story so riotous it would make Chelsea Handler blush.