Settle for More

Book excerpt: Sad but true, statistics clearly show that less than 7% of all marriages in the United States can be considered happy, healthy relationships. But, despite the gloomy forecasts for marital bliss, Dr. Tom Merrill and Bobbie Sandoz Merrill offer you a new way to turn the tables on these odds and guarantee your success. In their desire to preserve the intensity of the love they had found, rather than allow it to fade and end in divorce as the authors had both previously experienced, they uncovered some powerful relationship secrets that are universally applicable. In addition to their personal discovery, the Merrills bring us the benefit of their extensive knowledge and research, as well as their own experience as therapists and seminar and community leaders who have helped thousands of couples. In Settle for More, the Merrills examine the cultural obstacles we face in trying to forge loving, harmonious relationships, and explode certain myths about the mechanics of a happy, successful marriage: Marriage does Not have to be "hard work;" it can be as light and playful as during courtship. Fighting is Not healthy for your marriage, but instead causes a serious breakdown of positive feelings. Marriage does Not require the restrictions and losses of "compromise," which can actually put more strain on a relationship. Thomas Merrill, Ph.D., and his wife, Bobbie Sandoz Merrill, MSW, break it all down for us in astoundingly simple terms. But don't be fooled; these two renowned, successful family therapists - nationally syndicated columnists both - deconstruct the conventional wisdom about marriage and relationships, and offer a new approach to get the relationship we want by monitoring our own behavior and developing the very qualities we want to experience from our partners. The Merrills bring an entirely new understanding of partnership itself to the table with their original and unique Model of Relationships. And anytime this Model is applied, it quickly, easily, and dramatically transforms all human interactions from competitive to cooperative, from adversarial to assistive, and from defensive to aligned. According to the Merrills, "The success of this Model is mind-blowing...even to us!" Book jacket.