The Compassionate Mind Approach to Building Self-Confidence

Book excerpt: Many of us have a tendency to measure our self-worth by comparing ourselves to others. But when we fail to reach our own, families, communities or societies 'ideals' this often results in feelings of inadequacy, anxiety and low mood. We may become self-critical, experience shame and a sense of being different from others. Although an improvement in 'self-esteem' is what we may feel we want this is not necessarily what we need. This is because self-esteem is often associated with times when things are going well but can fail us when things do not go to plan. In contrast self-confidence, built from self-compassion, can help us when things are going well and make us more resilient when things are difficult. This book uses the ideas and practices of Compassion Focused Therapy to help build self-confidence. Attention is also paid to difficulties that often come hand in hand with lack of self-confidence such as anxiety, depression, substance use and anger.