The Dictionary of Corporate Bullshit

Book excerpt: This caustically funny Webster’s of the workplace cuts to the true meaning of the inane argot spouted in cubicles and conference rooms across the land. It’s time to face the facts: We live in the Golden Age of Bullshit. And as anyone who has ever worked in an office knows, the corporate world is a veritable sea of B.S.—and we are all drowning in it. Thank God for Lois Beckwith, an actual human being with the courage and moral fiber to cut through the crap (so to speak) and give us citizens of the working world the lowdown on what all this corporate lingua franca actually means. Breathe easy. The Dictionary of Corporate Bullshit will make your job a whole lot easier, telling you how to get ahead (kissing ass, playing golf), avoid annoying colleagues (use caller ID), and ride the elevator without ruining your career (if you gossip, use pronouns, and never talk to the CEO). If you have ever wondered what a mindshare is (some kind of drug?), puzzled over the meaning of words like impactful or incentivize (here’s a clue: those are not actual words), or been faced with a glassy-eyed zombie of a coworker singing the praises of synergy, then The Dictionary of Corporate Bullshit is for you! Forget what you learned in Bschool—this handy reference guide will teach you everything you need to know about the empty, enraging, and just plain stupid gobbledygook that masquerades as “communication” in the working world.